Conversations
by Boarbatusk328
Summary: Red vs Blue: Sheila has a conversation with each member of Blue team about her relationship with Caboose.
1. Tucker

**Relationship Talks**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs Blue. Rooster Teeth does.**

**Pairing: Caboose/Sheila**

Caboose woke up and jumped out of bed. _Oh boy, oh boy. Another great day._ He quickly went to the mirror he hung up in his room and combed down his blonde hair a bit, then put on his standard blue armor, except for his helmet. He ran out of his room. Once he left the base, he started yelling.

"Sheila! Sheila! Sheila!" She raised her turret and pointed it at him.

"_Oh, good morning, Caboose."_

Without saying anything, he jumped on her and planted a kiss on a random place. "I love you." He hugged her.

"_I love you, too, Caboose. But I am surprised that you woke up this early just to tell me that."_

"But that's what couples do, isn't it? They wake up just to show their love for each-other."

"_I don't think that's all that couples do, Caboose, but I see your point."_

Then Tucker came running out of the base. "Hey, Caboose. It's your turn to walk Junior."

"Has he eaten already? Because I don't want to be dying again."

"Don't worry. He got a nice drink of Doc, so he's satisfied for today."

"Oh, good. Then I'll go." He planted another kiss on Sheila. "Goodbye, Sheila."

"_Goodbye, Caboose."_ He ran off. Then Tucker turned to her.

"Hey, Sheila."

"_Yes, Private Tucker?"_

"Have you and Caboose...you know...Bow Chicka Clang Clang?"

"_I do not understand? Are you asking if I already had intercourse with Caboose?"_

"Yeah, that's it."

"_Yes, we have. After he read that book with Private Church, he really wanted to try it and I was the only one willing to volunteer."_

"Wait, is that how you got together."

"_That's hard to say. I would say that we were already there emotionally, but that's when we made it official."_

"I see. And how do you do it?"

"_We have decided not to tell anyone. He found it fun to have a secret."_

"Yep, that's Caboose."

Then Tex came running up to them. "Hey, Tucker, go take care of your creature."

"What? What about Caboose?"

"It took a bite at his neck and now he's under intensive care by Doc."

"_What? Caboose is fatally injured?"_

"And his life lies in the hands of a guy who should be suffering from blood-loss?"

"Church and Wash are also taking care of him."

"He's a dead man. I better go to my kid." Tucker ran off and Tex stayed with Sheila.

"So...How are you doing?"

"_My boyfriend is dying, I can't help him and the only ones who can are incompetent._ _How should I be feeling?"_

"Yeah, right, about that."

**Alright, this is the pilot. I would like to hear your opinion on how I could improve it or if I should scrap it altogether. R&R**


	2. Tex

Chapter 2

"I know Caboose isn't the worst choice for a boyfriend. After all, I did date Church. But what I want to know is...Are there any disappointments?"

"_I don't understand."_

"Well, are you in anyway unhappy? Does he not respect you? Insult you? Is he lame in bed or wherever you do it?"

"_No, I'm very happy. He is very respectful, he only praises me and he is really good."_

"I wouldn't have expected that from him. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who could maintain such a relationship. He's a child in the body of a bigger child."

"_Yes, but he is still a wonderful man. And a relationship is maintained by both partners. I suppose that's the reason why you're relationship with Private Church didn't last."_

"What do you mean? Are you...are you saying it's my fault?"

"_Yes, exactly._"

"Really? Then tell me, Sheila, what's wrong with me that destroyed my relationship with Church?"

"_I don't know how to put this, but...you're a bit of a bitch."_

"What? And that's why it didn't work out between me and Church? Do you know what kind of a guy Church is?"

"_Yes, he is a mean bastard."_

"Exactly. We're both mean. So, tell me, Sheila, whose at fault now?"

"_Both of you."_

"What?"

"_You are both mean and immature, so you gave each other the fault for the bad flow of your relationship, leading it right into oblivion."_

Tex was silent for a while. "So, if we both had tried a little harder to understand each other, then our relationship wouldn't have failed?"

"_Correct."_

Tex pondered about that for a while. "Excuse me." She ran off back to the base.

Later, Sheila was still waiting outside for someone to tell her how Caboose's treatment went. She had gotten so agitated that she moved right in front of the entrance.

Eventually, Doc came up, stunned at first at seeing a big turret in the entrance. "Sheila?"

"_Hello, Medic DuFresne. How is Caboose?"_

"Well..."

"_HOW IS HE?"_

"Oh god. He's fine. He's fine. We still had a gallon of his blood type, so we could give him a transfusion. Of course, he'll need a while to recover from..."

"SHEILA!"

They looked towards the voice of the energetic blonde running up to them.

"_CABOOSE!"_

He jumped on her and hugged her tight. "I've missed you, Sheila. Please, don't make me stay with the horrible doctor again."

"Oh, come on. I saved your life. Why do you keep calling me that?"

"This time you helped me. But last time I suffered from blood loss, you left me on the floor."

"_You what?"_ Sheila pointed her turret at Doc. _"You left Caboose to die?"_

Now Doc was backing up, raising his hands in defense. "Not die. I knew he was gonna recover. He just needed some rest. Just like now."

"I don't need rest. I'm fine." He fell off of Sheila. "No, I'm not." Then he fainted.

"Yep, that's what I thought. He needs rest. I better put him into bed.

"_Doc. Could you put him in my cockpit instead?"_

"Umm, he also needs warmth."

"_I have central heating."_

He thought about that for a moment. "Alright." The he picked Caboose up and put him in the cockpit. "You sure about this?"

"_Yes. I can keep him warm and it feels really good to have him inside me."_

"Uhuh, sure. Anyway, I have to go now. Good night."

"_Good night."_ He left. She drove a few meters back and turned her turret down. _"And good night to you, my love."_

**R&R**


	3. Sister

Chapter 3

Caboose woke up, yawned and stretched. Then it took him a while to realize where he was. "Sheila?"

"_Good morning, Caboose."_

"Good morning. Why am I in here?"

"_You were in a horrible state after receiving severe blood loss through Private Tucker's extraterrestrial child."_

Caboose pondered about that a bit. "What?"

"_Private Tucker's son bit you and sucked your blood until you fell unconscious."_

"Ohhh, so Fluffy Jr drank from me again."

"_Yes."_

"Okay, what time is it?"

"_It is now 12:35 PM."_

"Okay, I'll go for a walk now." He climbed out of the cockpit. "You wanna come with me, Sheila?"

"_No, I've been using up my power keeping you warm and watching over you. I'll rest for a little while."_

"Okay." He kissed her. "I'll see you later."

"_Yes, good bye, Caboose."_

"Goodbye." He ran off and Sheila powered down.

After about four hours, she powered back up._ "Ahh, that's better."_ She then noticed someone sneaking around her. _"Who's there?"_ She turned her turret, trying to catch a glimpse of whoever was with her.

Suddenly, Sister popped up. "Hey, Sheila."

"_Oh, hello, sister of Private Grif."_

"Just call me Sister, like everybody else does."

"_Are you sure? Don't you have a real name?"_

"I do, but I like being called Sister. It's kinda hot."

"_I see. And, why were you sneaking around me?"_

"I was looking."

"_For what?" _

"The opening."

"_The opening?"_

"The opening Caboose puts his thing in."

"_What? Why?"_

"Because I want to know how it's done. I mean, a guy and a tank, that's kinda hot."

"_Please, stop saying that."_

"I don't think that's possible. Anyway, how does he do it? Where?"

"_...Why would I tell you that?"_

"Because I wanna know."

"_...Now that I think about it, you seem to be constantly agitated. You asked me how I have intercourse with Caboose, so you can imagine it. It's compensation for your lack of sexual satisfaction."_

Sister pondered about that for a bit. "What?"

"_You behave weirdly because you don't get some."_

"Ohhh, I get it. That means I should go have sex with somebody, right?"

"_I suppose."_

"Awesome. Let's see, where's Tucker?" She ran off, and Sheila looked after her.

Caboose came back. "Hello, Sheila, how are you?"

"_I don't think I'm going to speak with Sister very much anymore."_

"Okay." He then climbed into the cockpit.

"_Caboose, what's going on? Are we going to fight?"_

"It's been two days." He said as he started taking off his armor.

"_What?"_

"Go ahead and drive somewhere else if you want some privacy, but we're doing this now."

Sheila understood and drove off to the caves.

**Turned out a little short, but I hope you still liked it. R&R**


	4. Washington

Chapter 4

Caboose was about to go to Sheila, when Washington stopped him. "Hey, Caboose, where do you think you're going?"

"I uhh, I thought I was going to spend time with Sheila. Was that wrong?"

"Yes, did you not listen to what Church said only an hour ago? You and Tucker are to go and spy on Red base."

"What? I...I...ohhhh, right. Okay, then I'll go say goodbye to Sheila."

"I'll come with you."

They left the base and went over to Sheila.

"_Hi Caboose. Oh, hello agent Washington."_

"Hello, Sheila. Caboose got a special mission from Church, so he'll be gone all day."

"_Really?"_

"Yeah, sorry Sheila. I gotta go." He left and Sheila sighed. Washington then turned to her.

"The only loving couple I've ever seen in my life and one of them is a tank."

"_You got a problem with that?" _She turned her turret towards him.

"No, not really, I mean."

"_Are you scared?"_

"As you probably know, I haven't had the best of experience with AIs. I'm always a little shaky when near AI controlled machines. Especially heavily armed combat vehicles."

"_Understandable."_

"Right, well...tell me, do you actually...love him?"

"_Excuse me?"_

"It's just, I can understand that the Freelancer AIs had emotions, since they were parts of a human personality. But with normal AIs, I never thought they could actually feel something."

"_That sounds racist."_

"No, no, that's not... well, maybe a little, but it's not what I meant."

"_What did you mean?"_

"I don't know. I mean, just look at you all. AIs, time travel, so on. It's all been a little much for me and the fact that you guys make it seem so normal is not making it much easier."

"_But one must consider that the people stationed here aren't mentally the most stable."_

"Yeah, these guys are kinda nuts. Especially those red guys, I'd be scared out of my wits if I were with them. Honestly, Sheila, how do you cope with it?"

"_I have Caboose. His compassion and his unique sight of the world help me get through the trouble these madmen get me into. He is a wonderful man, despite his low IQ."_

"Maybe even because. I suppose the smarter you, the harder it is to show your feelings."

"_I see."_

"And that's probably how he copes with it. The little intelligence he has helps him to see a situation in a way that it doesn't seem as bad as it actually is. I think you're the only one with the power to shake up his world."

"_Yeah, I don't even want to think about what could happen if something were to happen to me. He might go haywire."_

"Oh god, he might actually start shooting at us purposefully. With the right motivation, that man could destroy the world. Sheila, you must watch him till the day he dies."

"_Okay, I wi-" _There was a short pause.

"Sheila, are you okay?"

"_Yes, I'm fine. Excuse me, I would like to be alone for a while now."_

"Okay." She drove off and stopped at a random spot in the canyon.

"_Until the day he dies, huh?"_


	5. Church

Chapter 5

Sheila was just standing around, still depressed over her recent discovery, when Church came running.

"Sheila, I heard it was you who told Tex to give our relationship another try."

Sheila sighed. _"Yes."_

"You alright?"

"_You're lucky. The one you love is the same as you."_

"What?"

"_Caboose is a human. Some day he'll waste away and I'll be alone in this world."_

"Wow, that's, uhhh, I don't know what to say."

"_Remember? Back when you all traveled through time and left me here for 800 years?"_

"Yeah."

"_It was as if I was slowly rotting away. Recently I realized, that won't just happen to me when I'm alone. Without Caboose, I feel empty. If he dies, I will slowly waste away into eternity."_

"Why don't you just put him into a robot? I'm an AI who was a real person."

"_You're an AI who was copied from a real person. No, making an AI just won't work."_

"Then what are you gonna do?"

"_You'll live forever, right?"_

"That is the plan."

"_When Caboose dies, could you shut me off?"_

"Wow, you serious?"

"_Of course I am. Why should I keep on living without him?"_

"Right, I understand. You two really are a weird couple."

"_Still incapable of actually using positive words like "nice" or "cute"? Because, of my knowledge, those are the kind of words one combines with the word "couple"."_

"I don't care. Nobody tells me what kind of words I should use."

"_Okay. So, we have a deal?"_

"Oh, right, yeah. Yes, don't worry, I'll shut you off as soon as he's under the earth."

"_Thank you, Private Church."_

"No problem. One more thing. I've been thinking. I've always thought that, if Tex were to ever give me a second chance, I would try to do it right and ask her to marry me. Tell me, when do you think I should try?"

"_You should give your relationship a little time to establish itself. But you shouldn't wait too long, or else you'll lose her again."_

"Okay, got it. I'll go then." He ran off just before Doc came up.

"Hello, Sheila."

"_Hello, Medic DuFresne, how are you?"_

"I'm fine. I came here to check up on you."

"_Excuse me?"_

"I've been curious for a while. Can you get pregnant?"

"_What?"_

"I just wanna know if there's a possibility that there'll be little kids with turret heads running around. Can I examine you?"

"_Umm, sure."_

"Thanks." He scanned her multiple times. "Oh that's interesting."

"_What?"_

"It appears that you have a small chamber, filled with a sort of nutritious fluid."

"_Oh, yeah, that's a bio-technological part that was installed as an experiment to see if I could produce my own fuel. Experiment failed."_

"I see. Well, it is hospitable to semen, so I guess pregnancy is possible for you."

"_Really?"_

"Yeah."

There was a moment of silence before Caboose suddenly came running up.

"Hey, Sheila."

"_Yes, Caboose?"_

He got on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"


	6. Red Team

Chapter 6

Sheila didn't know what to say. _"I...I...I think Private Church wanted to show you something."_

"What?"

"What?"

"_Yeah, it sounded pretty urgent, so you better go now. I'll tell you my answer later."_

"Oh, ok. What did you wanna show me, Church?"

"Hang on, I'll take you there." They then walked away, but Church looked back to Sheila as in to say "You owe me one".

She away a little further away. _What should I do? I'm so confused. All my circuits seem to be breaking down. I don't think this is a good time for us to take our relationship that far, but there's a part of me that really wants it._

Her thoughts were interrupted by somebody shouting. "Hello? Anybody here? Anybody around? No? Good."

Sheila drove towards the voice and saw Grif, laying down._ "Private Grif?"_

"Oh, shit. Who the hell... Oh god, no. Please, don't shoot. I didn't come to attack, I just ran away from duty and came here to take a nap. Please, don't shoot. Take Simmons. I know he's not here, but I can lure him over and..."

"_Calm down, Private. I don't intend to hurt you."_

"What? Really? Oh, thank god."

"_I've got my own problems, I don't have time to deal with you."_

"Okay." He laid back down, not really caring for what she said anymore.

Seeing that he wouldn't be of much help, she took a different path. _"You know somebody who could give me some advice?"_

"Well, Simmons would be your number 1 choice, actually, your only choice, since Sarge is just a mean son of a bitch and Donut's a gay idiot."

"_I see. Thank you."_ She drove off to Red Base. She looked for Simmons, but bumped into Sarge.

"What the hell? What the heck is the blue tank doing over here?"

"_I'm looking for Simmons."_

"Ah, trying to take the only other competent human of our squad, are you?"

"_Um, no. I just want some advice from him."_

"Aha, so you're planning on interrogating him to get to our battle plans."

"_What battle plans? We're not fighting anymore."_

"Don't think you can fool me. What was the advice you wanted from him then, if not battle plans?"

"_I just wanted to know if I should marry Caboose."_

"Aha, so you're...you're...ok, what?"

"_Caboose proposed to me, and I want some advice if I should say yes."_

Sarge thought about that for a little while. "You should do it."

"_What?"_

"You should marry him."

"_And why?"_

"Because you should. You should get married, have kids and raise them to hate Grif."

"_Uhh."_

"Just think about it. Little humans with turret heads, chasing Grif across the canyon and using him as shooting practice. You must say yes, you cannot let that bright future go in vain."

"_Okay. But I think I'm gonna get a second opinion. Could you tell me where Private Simmons is?"_

"I'm right here. What do you want?"

The two turned towards Simmons, who came walking up.

"_I want some advice if I should marry Caboose. Your Sarge said I should, but he gave strange reasons."_

"You should do it."

"_What?"_

"You should take Sarge's advice. He is a brilliant man and a most respected officer. Whenever he says something, you can be absolutely sure that he's right."

"You see. Who else do you want to consult before making the right decision?"

"Hey guys." Donut said, running up to them. "What are you doing?"

"Telling Sheila she should marry Caboose."

"Really?"

"_Yes, but there reasoning is rather selfish, so I'm still unsure."_

"Seriously? Why are you even thinking so hard? You two are meant for each other."

"_You think so?"_

"Yeah, I mean, ever since I came here, I have been insulted, beaten, and told that my light red armor was pink. Caboose is the only real friend I've found here. And when I see him together with you, I can practically feel the joy emanating from the both of you. I have never seen anybody so happy. You belong together."

Sheila pondered on that, then drove off. Then Sarge and Simmons turned towards Donut.

"Nice-going, dirt-bag, you ruined it."

"What?"

"We practically had her there, and then you come along with that sentimental crap and scare her away from the idea."

"Well, I think I was really helpful."

"Of course, nobody ever realizes when they do things wrong."

"Oh man."

Meanwhile, Sheila drove back to Blue base and immediately encountered Caboose.

"Sheila, why did Church lead me around the canyon?"

"_Yes."_

"What?"

"_Yes, I will marry you."_

It took Caboose a little while to realize what she was talking about. "Really?"

"_Yes."_

He started laughing, jumped up onto her and kissed her.

Only one week later, the big day came. Sheila and Caboose were getting married with Sarge performing the ceremony.

"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride and beat Grif to death."

"Hey!" Grif tried to protest, but was silenced by Sarge's shotgun hitting him on the head.

"No interrupting the ceremony!"

Later on, after everybody was wasted and fell asleep, Caboose was laying on Sheila and they were just staring out into the night sky.

"I'm really happy."

"_So am I. I never would have expected this when I met you 800 years ago. But now, we're married. And we'll even have a baby."_

"Yeah, wait what?"

"_Huh? Oh, didn't I mention? I'm pregnant."_

**I like it when I finish a story. I would like to thank those who read this and encouraged me into continuing. Without you I would've scrapped the idea at the beginning. Thanks for reading.**


End file.
